The notion of hypocrisy

Well, the last time I tried suggesting my thesis statement, it was unaccepted because I can’t really give readers the whole idea that I want to write. So, this time around, I skimmed through the book again to see if there is any idea that I could make full of use. I also put in the points that were given into my brainstorm mind map. I was asked to use the notion of hypocrisy and the Christianity disguise (or something). So these are my points
hypocrisy, child labour, Christianity, cruelty
basic life’s needs, middle class men, greed

I came up with:
the deeds of the middle class society in the name of Christianity are hypocrisy
the Christian obligation done by the middle class society are mere hypocrisy

The feedback that I get is to use something like:
Hypocrisy, misuse of Christian obligation, orphan…

Ouch, now the whole sentence has changed again, and I’m still groping around on how I would want to write of the hypocrisy and the cruelty of the adults to poor Oliver. I have my points, only that I don’t have the super strong statement.